One of my very best friends used to really get around. It's the funniest thought to me because as wonderful as he is, he's a total geek. He's pretty without being particularly groomed and he's incredibly metro without having an ounce of feminine knowledge in his brain. He wasn't great at committing to most of these girls and I'm not sure if he even got that many numbers for future reference. This became a well known fact when the queen bee of a girlish clique he went to school with banned her subjects from so much as kissing the poor boy, as if his shy nature didn't make chat up lines hard enough to get out.
I think my favourite part about this tale is how incredibly poor at reading a flirt this guy is. So many of the night out stories involve him sitting there talking to a girl for two hours without the slightest attempt to get an arm around her. Having been one of the girls he's kissed on a night out I can tell you, anyone he makes it with makes the first move. He's absolutely straight-up about this sort of stuff that I feel his reputation grossly exaggerates his behaviour. As an example, when she whispered 'Will this be serious?' with her hands down his trousers, he didn't lie. He didn't attempt to deceive her to get to the end of the foreplay, he just stood down and let her be.
I don't think it's right to accuse him of getting around, to be honest. Once he finds people he cares about he is ultimately devoted. This, here, is a man whose first real relationship lasted for two long years with a three month venture into being long distance. He's just picky.
I have seen almost every side of this guy. I've been the one telling him he wouldn't get any only to discover he'll give regardless. I've had him to hold me through the night without so much as a peck on the lips. I've cried on his shoulder and wanted to kiss him only to find the words 'I'll follow your lead' on his lips. This is the perfect man to take home.
So what's with the court ruling? Why would anybody - let alone someone he's known for six years and never touched - put a dating ban in place? Judgement. There is so much prejudice and mistrust in our society that one of the only good guys I've found gets tarred with a hump 'em 'n' dump 'em brush. What happened to the world who devoutly believed in the cliché never judge a book by its cover?!
That's why anything, including mental illness, faces stigma. One person in prison gets diagnosed with a mental illness and suddenly the massive population of us living fractured but law abiding lives are considered dangerous, unreliable characters. Any one of my friends living with an illness have accomplished their qualifications, proceeded into careers and held down jobs. I don't want to hide any more, I don't want a world that thinks me incompetent for my medical status.
Let's fight the prejudice,
depressivedetails@gmail.com
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