What's the blues when you've got the greys?
I've think I've given up, my body's giving in
In a building, I lie still
And then I turn back over again
I've think I've given up, my body's giving in
In a building, I lie still
And then I turn back over again
These words are the opening lines to Sing the Greys (2006), Frightened Rabbit's debut album. Grant Hutchison told Ghettoblastermagazine.com, "Most of the songs are true and honest and autobiographical, and the albums are chronological. If we’re looking at The Midnight Organ Fight (2008), that is how Scott felt. As everyone knows, it’s a straight-up break-up album—nothing more to it.When he was going through that, he was crashing in a cupboard in my flat, so that was heavy." It's interesting to think, though, that Hutchison (Scott, that is) was capable of writing an entire album that spoke to so many and subsequently wound up living out of a cupboard. I would read into - however dangerous assumption is - that once he got beyond the want for her to return he realised the darkness had already been there (Yawns sighs 'She yawns because she's bored, he yawns because he can't sleep anymore'.)
Taking you through Midnight Organ Fight (2008) we immediately hear my life summarised in a song:
Taking you through Midnight Organ Fight (2008) we immediately hear my life summarised in a song:
A cripple walks amongst you, all you tired human beings
He's got all the things a cripple has not, two working arms and legs
And vital parts fall from his system and dissolve in Scottish rain
Vitally, he doesn't miss them; he's too fucked up to care
He's got all the things a cripple has not, two working arms and legs
And vital parts fall from his system and dissolve in Scottish rain
Vitally, he doesn't miss them; he's too fucked up to care
The words of Modern Leper include 'Well I am ill but I'm not dead and I don't know which of those I prefer'. The following track, I Feel Better, chimes on with the words 'I feel better and better and worse and then better than ever'. I think these two quotes bring to light a side of depression that we don't really talk about that much. The illness gets so bad and takes so long to heal that you begin to wonder if dying is the answer. Then, when you start to get better, it's not a constant feeling and there are continuous set backs. The road to healing is long and bumpy. I like to express depression as a coldness. Cold effects the body in many different ways, causing discomfort, pain or even a numbing sensation. When it gets to an extreme level it can cause other issues (in depressions case self harm, suicidal thoughts and other mental health issues can develop). When heating yourself after severe chills you cannot warm yourself too quickly for risk of chilblains, as when depressives have extreme highs it can result in damaging behaviour during or in the come down/aftermath of the high. It is never a smooth ride, regardless.
In Good Arms vs. Bad Arms, Hutchison tells us where he's at with that girl. The words include 'I may not want you back' and 'I'm still in love with you, can't admit it yet'. That's a really, really hard place to be, knowing you have to keep distance from that one person you love. He soon falls into bed with strangers and recounts it in Fast Blood ('I feel like I just died twice and was reborn again for all our dirty sins'), The Twist ('Whisper the wrong name, I don't care and nor do my ears. Twist yourself around me, I need company, I need human heat') and concludes how unhelpful it can be in Keep Yourself Warm ('It takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep warm'). Poke faces another side of depression, one where your body doesn't respond to the emotions ('Why can't I cry about this?') and the absolute desperation that the misery causes ('I hate when I feel like this'). It's starting to get better, though, in it's rough and rocky way. 'These manic gulls scream it's okay. Take your life, give it a shake. Gather up all your loose change... I think I'll save suicide for another year.' soothes Floating in the Forth and it leaves you hoping for more of the same.
What happens in The Winter of Mixed Drinks (2010)? 'Pointless artefacts from a mediocre past so I shed my clothes, I shed my flesh, down to the bone and burned the rest' choruses Things, the opening track. The hopeful lines are plentiful but not the only ingredient to this record. He summarises his personal history, looking at the sum of his belongings, muses 'They hardly show that I have lived' and tells us he 'Didn't need these things' before turning his back and running to the next track that became the anthem for a Mel Gibson movie...
Swim Until You Can't See Land is sort of suggestive about self destruction ('If I hadn't come now to the coast to disappear I may have died in a landslide of rocks and hopes and fears'), egging himself on with the words 'Are you a man? Are you a bag of sand?', justifying himself to 'Let's call me a baptist, call this a drowning of the past' and tying it back to the break-up with 'She is there on the shoreline throwing stones at my back'. The Loneliness and the Scream ponders 'Did you hear me in the loneliness?', perfectly articulating the theme of the album - being lonely. This track is his most obvious plea for help. If 'Can you see the blood on my sleeve?' isn't enough to convince you of that then 'This scream to prove to everyone that I exist in the loneliness' should be. I'm not trying to point out the flaws of a man here, either, I'm trying to tell you that anyone can ask for help and it's never something to apologise for. Never.
Skip the Youth is another punch to a hopeful outlook: 'If you don't stare at the dark, if you never feel bleak life starts to lose its taste'. Nothing Like You is another notable attachment to the previous record, acknowledging that a new woman can't fix the damage ('She was not the cure for cancer and all my questions still ask for an answer') but that she makes life better anyway ('All the pain, almost as painful as ever but something in me was not the same'). He acknowledges the reason for this himself in the chorus 'There is nothing like someone new and this girl, she was nothing like you', so I don't think I have anything to add to his articulation.
Now! Not Miserable fills me with empathy every time. 'And though it's easier now I'll always remember the night that I almost drowned' with a chorus declaring 'I'm not miserable now' and backing vocals disputing with 'I am, I am, I am' like the doubting little fish that nibble away at the self belief you've been slowly rebuilding. And the other thing, the hardest thing to wrap your ahead around, 'Though the corners are lit the dark can return with the flick of a switch', and he's right. Mental illness can be hereditary, recurring or random. Those of us who suffer very rarely get away with only one round of one condition, we become veterans and experts at such young ages. I'm still coming to grips with this one, it's most definitely the most accurate for where I am right now.
Living in Colour arrives as the second last track to this album and includes the line that birthed the title 'I am soaking, I am weathered by the winter of mixed drinks'. The track reflects numerous other songs and essentially ties us in with the previous albums. 'She pulled the iris, then she pierced a hole and watched the colour rush forth' reflects both Poke (from their second record pleading 'Poke at my iris') and The Greys (Sing the Greys, 'Thought maybe today the world might be a more colourful place but there's no luck, it's still just grey'). The track sounds in immediately after Not Miserable which I suspect might be saying something about how far he's come at this point. He sings
Swim Until You Can't See Land is sort of suggestive about self destruction ('If I hadn't come now to the coast to disappear I may have died in a landslide of rocks and hopes and fears'), egging himself on with the words 'Are you a man? Are you a bag of sand?', justifying himself to 'Let's call me a baptist, call this a drowning of the past' and tying it back to the break-up with 'She is there on the shoreline throwing stones at my back'. The Loneliness and the Scream ponders 'Did you hear me in the loneliness?', perfectly articulating the theme of the album - being lonely. This track is his most obvious plea for help. If 'Can you see the blood on my sleeve?' isn't enough to convince you of that then 'This scream to prove to everyone that I exist in the loneliness' should be. I'm not trying to point out the flaws of a man here, either, I'm trying to tell you that anyone can ask for help and it's never something to apologise for. Never.
Skip the Youth is another punch to a hopeful outlook: 'If you don't stare at the dark, if you never feel bleak life starts to lose its taste'. Nothing Like You is another notable attachment to the previous record, acknowledging that a new woman can't fix the damage ('She was not the cure for cancer and all my questions still ask for an answer') but that she makes life better anyway ('All the pain, almost as painful as ever but something in me was not the same'). He acknowledges the reason for this himself in the chorus 'There is nothing like someone new and this girl, she was nothing like you', so I don't think I have anything to add to his articulation.
Now! Not Miserable fills me with empathy every time. 'And though it's easier now I'll always remember the night that I almost drowned' with a chorus declaring 'I'm not miserable now' and backing vocals disputing with 'I am, I am, I am' like the doubting little fish that nibble away at the self belief you've been slowly rebuilding. And the other thing, the hardest thing to wrap your ahead around, 'Though the corners are lit the dark can return with the flick of a switch', and he's right. Mental illness can be hereditary, recurring or random. Those of us who suffer very rarely get away with only one round of one condition, we become veterans and experts at such young ages. I'm still coming to grips with this one, it's most definitely the most accurate for where I am right now.
Living in Colour arrives as the second last track to this album and includes the line that birthed the title 'I am soaking, I am weathered by the winter of mixed drinks'. The track reflects numerous other songs and essentially ties us in with the previous albums. 'She pulled the iris, then she pierced a hole and watched the colour rush forth' reflects both Poke (from their second record pleading 'Poke at my iris') and The Greys (Sing the Greys, 'Thought maybe today the world might be a more colourful place but there's no luck, it's still just grey'). The track sounds in immediately after Not Miserable which I suspect might be saying something about how far he's come at this point. He sings
And though I dreamt with a rapid eye
By day I hope to rapidly die
And have my organs laid on ice
Wait for somebody that'd treat 'em right
And as the night started swallowing
You put the blood to my blue lips
Forced the life through still veins
Filled my heart with red again
Admittedly that's not the closing number to this wonderful album and Yes, I Would still hammers home the underlying subtext of his personal loneliness that lingers on as the residue from his break-up three albums ago (and he has said himself that he's not overly self indulgent, the girl was a real bitch). The final track lulls 'You told me to get lost to find myself' and 'The loss of a lonely man doesn't make much of a sound'. Naturally enough, we beg to differ as we see the journey over these three albums and go 'Dude, I'm gonna get from the Greys to Living in Colour just like Frabbits did. Awesome.' and get really lame, fan girly and inspired.
Naturally the band went on to release EPs in 2011 (A Frightened Rabbit EP) and 2012 (State Hospital EP) before their 2013 record Pedestrian Verse which is a lot more narrative and third person now that our dreamy lyricist is seeing the world in technicolour again. Also, having been more collaborative in the song writing for their 2013 album, Hutchison decided that's the way he wants Frightened Rabbit to continue but he missed sitting around and writing songs alone so 2014 saw Owl John (Hutchison's side project) release a record. He certainly releases stuff in double time without the greys... I think I love him.
This post has been a very self-indulgent attempt to reiterate a bedtime story I was told about how The Greys is not a song to obsess over, it's importance lies in a line near the end of the third album 'Living in colour again, living in colour I can see the paint on your toes'... Because it's the little things.
I hope you see that I'm only trying to help,
depressivedetails@gmail.com
Naturally the band went on to release EPs in 2011 (A Frightened Rabbit EP) and 2012 (State Hospital EP) before their 2013 record Pedestrian Verse which is a lot more narrative and third person now that our dreamy lyricist is seeing the world in technicolour again. Also, having been more collaborative in the song writing for their 2013 album, Hutchison decided that's the way he wants Frightened Rabbit to continue but he missed sitting around and writing songs alone so 2014 saw Owl John (Hutchison's side project) release a record. He certainly releases stuff in double time without the greys... I think I love him.
This post has been a very self-indulgent attempt to reiterate a bedtime story I was told about how The Greys is not a song to obsess over, it's importance lies in a line near the end of the third album 'Living in colour again, living in colour I can see the paint on your toes'... Because it's the little things.
I hope you see that I'm only trying to help,
depressivedetails@gmail.com
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