David Friedman changed my life

I ranted and rambled about going back to college enough for you to notice that I have gone back to college. The classes can be long, the yawns can come and sometimes all I want is to die... I don't though. It's just my go-to cop out. Suicide ideation reigns through my days still.

Not two weeks into classes I started skipping for work. I was hired to design lights on a show entitled "Listen to my Heart : the songs of David Friedman". Friedman's compositions resounded through the auditorium and resonated perfectly within my skull. Anything from "I wanna be rich" to "Please, don't feed me" spilled from my lips constantly in the following days. A song called "Catch me" became my anthem, filling me with tears whenever I sang along.

"Catch me - don't let me fall in the river,

Don't let me drown in the water,

Don't let me drift in the tide."

The important thing, however, is to ask for that help. My friend's mom used to say "If you don't ask you won't receive" and she's completely right. The reaction to Catch Me is a fantastic song which I soon turned to, I Can Hold You.

"This song is just for you, no one else can hear.

Nobody's listening, no one else is near.

The pain you're going through only I can see

'Cause I'm so close to you, you're a part of me.

I can hold you, I can take you in my arms

Let you know I understand and that I always will be there

And when I hold you, though I can't keep you from harm

I can love you, I can listen, I can care.

I can hold you through the darkness and despair.

I see you crying for all the years you've lost,

For all that might have been and all those years have cost.

Alone you've tried and tried but still the pain goes on

But I'll be by your side until the pain is gone.

I can hold you 'til the sorrow goes away,

'Til the tears are cried, the wound is healed, the past is in the past

And when I hold you surely there will come a day

When it's better, when it's different, when you're free

I can hold you and it's gonna change you'll see.

For though you think that hope has died and all your dreams are gone

I know that somewhere locked inside your spirit still lives on.

Your heart is so afraid to care, afraid that there'll be no one there

But here I am and I swear I'm not going anywhere.

I can hold you, take a chance and let me in

Let me show you you can win as you have never won before

'Cause when I hold you then the healing can begin

And the love that you've been holding back can grow

I can hold you and I'll never let you go.

Through the sadness and the tears,

Through the longing and the fears,

If it takes a hundred years...

I can hold you."

All of that is true, say it to yourself. If you need help ask for it (and that goes to my buddy with the dislocated rib). Love to you all, I wish you all the best for the holidays. xo